Takeaways from "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem"

 The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

by Nathaniel Branden

   Self-esteem can be raised by the practice. The author mentions six pillars of self-esteem and daily practices to improve each item. Note that each pillar requires mental preparation and regular practice, by this, we can raise our self-esteem. Here are the key lessons from this book.

1. Living consciously. Practicing of living consciously includes thinking, awareness, being a present, distinguishing facts, controlling emotions, understanding fear and pain, having a goal and purpose, monitoring self-actions and questioning himself, perseverance, seeking knowledge, being open for feedbacks, commitment to learn and grow, trying to understand the world around us, etc. Think each of those components that how you may understand and implement into your life. 
2. Self-acceptance. Accept yourself as you are, be sincere with yourself. Acknowledging all your defects, mistakes, behaviors, and emotions is not considering right or approving them, it is a confronting with facts and knowing the reality about yourself. Knowing the facts gives you the motivation to change, room for improvement.
3. Self-responsibility. You should take responsibility for your life, choices, relationships, behavior, time, consciousness, goals and achievements.  Being grateful or doing exercise is our choice, it is us to choose them. You reap what you sow. Yes, there are matters in and out of our control in this world. Work on what you can change, take responsibility to improve and make it happen them.
4. Self-assertiveness. Being able to stand for your honor, values, and needs appropriately and seeking the right treatment from others. Behaviors like ego, selfishness should not be covered under the self-assertiveness, knowing when and where to be assertive is also essential. Correct self-assertiveness gives you power and a character of being true with your desire and values, make the others deal with you as you have claimed in your assertiveness.
5. Living purposefully. Be proactive, set goals, work on them, try to achieve and accomplish. Question yourself about your life and time, strive your goals, and check your progress regularly. Purposeful living gives you energy, productivity, self-discipline, and a sense of achievement.
6. Personal integrity. When the ideals and moral convictions match with the person's action, we can say this person has personal integrity. Act as you have said, keep your words, be honest, stay away from lying and being fake.

Give questions to yourself regarding the characteristics mentioned above, answer them, write down your answers, and practice applying them to your life.

I highly recommend this book!